How to persuade a husband to have a second child?
I want a second child, the older one is already big, but I cannot persuade my husband. Rather, in words, he agrees and also wants. He loves children and animals very much, and it is clear from him that he also really wants to, but he is afraid. Responsibility, that there is not enough money, that I will not work for a while. He does not openly talk about it, but I feel that this is so. In fact, sex is rare, with such a frequency of the child does not conceive. We have not been protected for three years, but nothing is working. As a woman there is no problem, but he can not even reach the laboratory to be tested. I heard that this could be a psychological problem. We now have an acute financial issue. I think the husband is also worried about this. Is it possible to somehow correct the situation and return the interest of her husband?
Welcome va.Mozhno. The problem is not that the husband is afraid of responsibility, lost interest or cannot reach the laboratory, but that there is not enough money, therefore the husband does not want to go to the laboratory,He does not want children and does not want you, as he used to. The problem is in him, as in a husband. He is not able to prove himself adequately, as he would like, namely, to solve all family financial issues. He did not take place as rear, the proponent, the protector, as the guarantor of the financial freedom of his family, and therefore, as a husband, behind whom you and the children, are like a stone wall. It is this that destroys him, breaks and torments. of the future, does not allow to reach the laboratory, to have children, to delight you and yourself. It is this breach gave a leak in a ship called marriage. Exit one: to inspire a husband to great deeds and earnings, in no case become a man herself and do not pull everything on yourself. How to do it? There are many techniques, in this format I can not help you Alas, this is not a matter of one day or even a month, it is better to take a consultation, or at least read special articles and books. What I personally can advise right now is to stop putting pressure on my husband, not to talk more about the child, it is useless, but try to thank, praise, and give your husband those lo, remembering all the rainbow and a bright,that you had two. That you can pull out the spouse from the paws of sorrow that swallowed him. Understand, he constantly thinks about his inconsistency. Find what your husband is better than all other men, say, he plays chess brilliantly, and extol him! The bottom line is to inspire a husband, give him support and a push, wake him up from hibernation, into which he fell, make him believe in himself again and act. This is a female task in marriage, not to earn money. To praise is not in vain, but for the cause , for his actual achievements, wake up the breadwinner in him and with Let's admit: “Darling, I remember how you defeated grandfather and great-grandfather in chess, how smart you are with me! I married the best of men, I am so happy. I am proud of you. We are the best!” Got an idea? Give time to go up the seeds, do not wait for miracles instantly, this is a process. Go to the theater, visit (where your husband takes the guitar and sings best of all), prepare a super dinner, go to the cinema, discuss your feelings after the movie, communicate , establish interaction, let your husband feel that you need him, that he is loved, and that you strongly believe in all his undertakings, hurdles, including financial ones. Try to save money on your account or card,or just cash in the safe. It will save both of you from fear for tomorrow. Save 10% from your husband’s income, not for a rainy day, but to travel, attend the best performances, ballet, opera, etc. Let it be family tradition. I believe you can do it. Look at your husband without reproach, but with joy, gratitude and love. Hug him tenderly and say: "We will cope with everything, dear. I love you so much! You can do everything, you are my hero! "
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