How to get a lover out of the game: hidden methods

Psychologist and personal coach for women Marina Ostrovskaya told how to choose the right tactics in a love triangle.

Mistress ... Already from this one word, horror is spreading through your body. The soul is torn apart by conflicting feelings and desires. I want to take revenge on both of them in a complete, most insidious way. There are a million questions in your head that you don’t find the answer: what about the children? and all the years of marriage? how could he do it at all ?!

And after the first shock, if you do not break wood in a fit of anger, you have the same choice: what to do now? There are only two strategies: you choose either to save the family or to disperse. And no matter what you decide, the first thing to do is to shift the focus of attention to yourself.

Perhaps you have been living an incomplete life for a long time. Everything for him, for the family, for the children. Take care of everyone, you bother. Work takes a lot of time and effort. Children have chicken pox, matinee, then exams.

And if your husband also began to disappear at night "meetings", then your focus finally turns out to be anywhere, but not at yourself. Now - on him and on his mistress.And if you drown in other people's lives, you will finally lose yours. And this is the worst option for you.

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The best way to get a lover out of a game is to get out of this game. Stop playing their games and start playing your own.

Find yourself an inspirational lesson. You can even make a date with yourself. Meet again the woman you have become.

Ask a friend or mother to sit with the children, and take care of all those things that you haven't reached for years. Clean your space of rubbish, long buried things in the closet, expired cosmetics. Throw out the old bathrobe and the package with the packages finally.

Surround yourself with beauty: clothes, dishes, hair, fresh flowers. Everything that you like now or once you like it.

Make your husband's attention

Make your life interesting. Not him, not her, not neighbors or mother. Not because he without fail will pay attention to the changes in you. Maybe it will, but the focus is not on it. The focus is on you. Meet the psychological and physical practices, they will help to survive the blow and to cleanse yourself and your body of negative emotions.

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The non-obvious method to get the third out of your life is to accept any outcome from a delicate situation. A good psychologist or psychotherapist will help with this.

With a psychologist, it is easier to find the strength and resources to live on, with or without a husband. Understand why and why you were given such a situation, what does it teach you and that now you want to do things differently in life. And whether to save this marriage, or he has long outlived himself and his mistress - a completely natural phenomenon.

If you choose to keep your family, then, most likely, nothing will be the same as before. And both of you need to re-negotiate or finally speak through many non-obvious things. What he was dissatisfied with, that you did not notice in him that he received from the other. And most importantly, what do you both want from the relationship and whether your plans for life agree now.

Is he ready to work on relationships at all or to save a marriage - just your initiative?

If you are ready, then perhaps you need a family psychologist, a specialist in establishing a dialogue in a couple. If you choose to disperse and live your life, or he chose it for you and went to another, then try to work out all your negatives to them ecologically: in the gym, at the psychologist, on yoga, in the pool, in nature. Alcohol and crying on the shoulder of a girlfriend will only aggravate the situation.

Revenge, do her nastiness, dispel rumors, set up children against dad, forbid him to see them - infantile behavior, which will bring you nothing except poison, negativity and psychosomatics.

The hidden and unobvious way to get a mistress out of the game is to stop being a victim in a relationship, blame the husband or his passion for everything, and finally start living his life.

Do not overtighten with her ropes, do not compete, do not lose yourself, do not be humiliated and do not beg him to stay with you.

With him, without him - it does not matter. You are alone.